January 18, 2008

Let the REAL life begin

Today is Greg and Kari’s 22nd wedding anniversary. He felt bad for not getting her anything. At hearing that I was struck with, “What else matters except that you are with her? What could you possibly give that holds any value compared to your life, Greg? You are the treasure, Greg. You are her greatest gift, the gift of yourself, today, probably more than any other time in your marriage. You are there in your totality. What a wonderful thing.”

Greg got home last night from the hospital. He is taking care of business, the business of closing all doors of the present and the past and preparing for his future departure, the time of which no man knows exactly, only God knows. He is getting ready, nonetheless, because He knows it is happening and will happen. He has evidence that he no longer is suited for this place. Whatever he was given when he first came has run out, expired, kaput, over, it no longer can be used in the marketplace of this world. The vehicle he has been traveling in needs a new model. That new model is waiting for him at the manufacturer’s home.

I can only imagine what it was like at his house today when loved ones came to say their good-byes. I bet there were tears, lots of them, like an unstoppable force that poured out of the well-springs of their hearts held back until such a time as this. Then there was laughter. How can there not be with Greg. But the tears came again, something like contractions, birth pains. Isn’t that interesting? A mom is alone in her pain while birthing, but when someone is dying, everyone experiences it because it is a birthing into a new world. The conversation was probably the most real it has ever been. Awkward, of course, but a sense that even awkwardness didn’t matter. This is the way life is to be, loving, forgiving, knowing that we each are leaving this world and we don't know when. Can you imagine the LOVE at their house? The intimacy, the crying, the mourning, the poor in spirit, the meek. The Beatitudes ring with truth in these moments.

What a gift God has given this family and all of us to send a brother off in such a manner. Every generation has people who stood out as great men who loved the Lord, and in my life, Greg is one of those in this generation. My Pastor once said, We die the way we live. Finally, I understand what this means! Greg is dying the way he lived, investing his life into people, talking to them about their eternal destiny, and testifying of the love and faithfulness of God. If God so chooses to physically heal him, what would Greg do? I’m sure it would be the same as he’s done. Whether he lives or dies, his life is about Christ. So as his doctor prophetically and unknowingly said, “He won’t be going until his job his done.”

What have I learned through all of this? Well, my husband just came home from work. Was I so cheerful about it? Not really—especially as he came in upset. My kids are playing loudly with outbursts of anger, and I’m seriously sitting down here to express what I am thinking. The day to day stuff just latches onto us and before we know it, we are back to the grind again. Can I say, Thank You, Jesus, for these times of crisis when it seems REAL life happens. When our dependency upon God is at the highest it could be. When our relationships take on a pureness, an honesty that we have hoped for our entire lives. There’s no better place than to be in the arms of Jesus. How do we get there? Do we have to go through crisis to believe that Christ is? I don’t know, and I don’t want to say bring it on, but there is a part of me that longs to experience that closeness of Christ, that the apostle Paul even desired: that I may know Him, and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Can you imagine what it would be like if we lived like we were dying!!! I will miss Greg very much. I feel with compassion the pain he and his family are experiencing. Soon we will all be on the other side of this journey with a friend and Greg will be in the presence of the Lord, not worried about a thing, but in complete understanding of why he had to leave us at this time. It’s a win-win. We have the Holy Spirit and His word to comfort us, and because of that we have real life.

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,

Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted,

Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth,

Blessed are those who thirst for righteousness for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy,

Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God,

Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for my sake,

Rejoice and be exceedingly glad for great is your reward in heaven, for they persecuted the prophets who were before you.