Back From the Future

May 11, 2009

Chelsea and I are home from our 8 day trip to Russia for the annual Pastor’s Conference in St. Petersburg.

We had a great time. As we ponder all the things that happened, we both agree it was a bleep in time; as if we never went. Because of the heart changing experiences we had, we can’t forget that although we are back in the present, we indeed took a trip in the future…………. (They are 11 hours ahead of us.

How to describe what happened.

If you remember, this trip was marked with much doubt by not only us but by others in the team. We also found out, those in Russia felt the same thing. My motto has always been; “When in doubt, don’t.” So I am thinking how it applies now, since despite doubt, we went and it was confirmed that it was meant to be.

When we went last year for the first time, it was definitely a “God talking” experience. With both of us signed up for the Outreach Trip, it was clear; no money was coming in. Also, unlike a trip earlier, Chels and I believed we were to go together. With an intense desire to go, I called out to God for confirmation. Thinking I was standing in God’s way with Chels, I gave up my desire to go with her. On a Saturday night, two weeks before departure, I wrestled with God about taking matters into my own hands, especially for Chels’ sake, who was heavy with disappointment. I was convinced I should ask the director--one more time-- if there was any money left; anything—to relieve Chels and also my guilt of selfishness. Instead, I heard a still, small voice that said,

“Don’t ask her. Wait until she (Janet) asks you something. And when she asks, say, yes.”

To our incredible joy, that next morning, I did get a question asked of me, and I said, yes. The reason we didn’t go on the Outreach trip was because He was reserving us for the Pastor’s conference. In a short period of time, the money came in.

This year I was waiting for the same thing. Again, no money and no clear word that we were to go; only a prompting and desire to see our family in Russia. The time approached to commit, meaning that if money didn’t come in, we would be responsible for the amount ourselves. The time came and I said, no, because there was no clear answer and I was unwilling to ask anyone for money, due to lack of faith that we--even Calvary-- was to go during these hard economic times.

Pleadingly, I asked for God’s heart in the matter. I went to bed praying for His word. Then I had a dream. The dream, as you recall, showed me that there was need for encouragement, not just in thought or prayer but in the physical presence of others and He was clearly sending a team from Calvary Chapel, Spokane. When I woke up, and the dream was still vividly in my thoughts-- that I could even write it down-- I knew it was God that said, “Go” and that He was not dictated by the economy. The trip was His perfect plan. So we journeyed forth in faith that we were to go, although our faith was weak, we continued in His strength.

Although I didn’t hear God’s voice as I heard before, the challenge was to accept a new way of listening and walking in His ways. We trained, we prepared, and we accepted going and even not going. The physical and spiritual life looked the same; do what comes next, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, walk in the Spirit. The money came in and off we went.

Ironically, doubt continued to plague me and others. Even while we were in the air. Even when we touched down. Even when we were doing our job,… doubt was in our being. It is still there, somewhat. The battle was; why us? Are we qualified? Are we worthy? Who do we think we are to be in this position?

Putting on the armor of God, Ephesians 6, became our theme.

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.
11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.
12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.
16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.
17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.
18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

We were engaged in every battle we needed armor for: our salvation, our faith, our knowledge of scripture, our standing, our peace. Everyday, we addressed our position and encouraged one another. We discussed the enemy’s schemes. We confessed our fears and sins of losing faith. We repented and thanked God for his power and faithfulness in us and to us. We pressed on and we left the previous days battle and re-suited ourselves each day. We put our shields together. His mercies were new every morning.

How God confirmed His plan.

“We receive many invitations to conferences throughout the year, but none include wife and children as does Calvary Chapel. We look forward to the event to take place. We have no words to express our sincere appreciation.”—Pastor

“We need spiritual parents to encourage us. We don’t want a letter or a book; we need real live persons to come to us. What we so desperately want and doubt we will get, we receive here at the conference every time. We are blessed to come and for you to come.”—Pastor

“Thank you so much for taking care of our children.” ---Mother

Thank you for the sacrifice you make to attend to us. We need this so much.”--Mother

“Please come back next year?” --Parents, children

We were blessed by pouring ourselves out to the point of exhaustion while working with the almost 50 beautiful children entrusted in our care in a room 15x25.

We were blessed by hearing the appreciation of the parents and non-parents of the gift of encouragement we provided.

We were blessed to hear the struggles of the pastors and their wives of the exact same schemes of Satan we were experiencing.

We were blessed to hear of the Holy Spirit’s work in the hearts of those in Russia to deny themselves, pick out their cross and follow Him.

We were blessed to be in unity with those who are awaiting the imminent return of our Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, and to not be conformed to this world.

As a team, We were blessed with the gift of each other as the body of Christ and the jewels He is crafting each one of us into being.

We were blessed with insight, correction, and revelation and the gift of receiving it.

The provisions for food and shelter were a blessing.

The comments were worth it.


Concluding remarks

At the end of a trip like this:

□ I want to start saving for next year's trip.
□ I want to keep in constant communion with those I have become a team with.
□ I want to remember the fun times we had as we embarked on a journey that is documented like a movie in our minds.
□ I want to write a book about it to share with others.
□ I want to make changes in my life that keep my focus on the work of God and not my own desires.
□ I want the world to know the ever-present, ever-faithful and incredible person of Jesus Christ.
□ I am grateful to be part of God’s encouraging work in our family members in Russia.
□ I want to keep those in Russia ever in my prayers,
□ I want to stay in constant communication with them.
□ I want my entire family to experience what Chels and I did.
□ I want to thank you for praying, supporting and being very much a part of this whole thing.

Thank you.

This is what happened. If you want more details, I am happy to answer. Thank you for reading this. I hope to hear from you.

I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Gal. 2:20

Tina Nenno